Sunday, December 23, 2018

What the Hell Happened This Year: the 2018 Edition


The thing about being in my late 40s and having the brain that I do is that time gets a little iffy for me. Oh, I’m fully oriented, but I’m never sure if certain things occurred unless I check at least three other sources to verify. 2018 was a year of things that I’m fairly confident I said, thought, or did. C’mon gang, let’s look at the highlights!



The Iceman Cometh 
courtesy of my dear dear friends @ Variety
– and Jane was remindeth that lord above, New York City is a lot of work. In May, my spouse and I traveled to New York, the primary motivation being to see Denzel Washington in Eugene O’Neill’s rollicking kneeslapper, “The Iceman Cometh”. In my younger days, going to New York City was thrilling and, as the song says, I wanted to be a part of it. As a bitch in my 40s, I was exhausted seconds after we landed. Though that might have been the waking nightmare that is LaGuardia. Note to self: fly into ANY OTHER AIRPORT should my presence ever be required again in NYC. I did finally go to MOMA, a joint I’d never managed to roll through when I used to go to New York somewhat regularly, and that was very very good. Seeing Van Gogh’s “The Starry Night”, one of my favorite paintings, in person was rather moving. We then hopped on a train and hustled ourselves down to our lady Kristin to see what was doing in her neck of the woods, and paid a visit to Washington DC. Massive pick to click: the National Museum of African-American History and Culture. Holy cats is all I can say. Also a highlight – staying in a hotel that has mothercrunking bunk beds.

Chicago’s Very Own John Mulaney
John Mulaney from "Kid Gorgeous"

We saw him, he’s terrific, I would like to be his friend and I don’t quite understand why I’m not. 

David Duchovny – I had another 5.4 second visit with one of my most beloved ex-Imaginary Celebrity Boyfriends in August. That was delightful. The picture? Well, he looks good. But he always looks good. *leers politely*

Tickets made me angry – I got hosed on getting tickets to see Massive Attack because Ticketmaster blows. I was also testy with my fun-sized rage angel Trent Reznor because I don’t know how to read good sometimes. I was more successful with getting passes to Star Wars Celebration for April 2019 – well, for one day, at least. Sunday. The day that will probably not be a day when cool things and/or people appear because that’s going to be Saturday.  And I will be there Sunday.

The Foo Fighters at Wrigley Field 
A sign for the Foo Fighters. I do not have a picture of a sign for U2.
That was good! The Hotel Zachary, the “boutique hotel” across the street from Wrigley Field, was darn fine! 

U2 at the United Center – that was also good! Those fellows sure know how to put on a show. 


How Did This Get Made – seeing Jason Mantzoukas in the flesh was a gift. I laughed so hard at a certain bit I almost hyperventilated, which is a mark of a quality live comedy podcast.

Avengers: Infinity War and other Fandom nonsense (spoilers and standard weirdness from me, your host)


"WHY" - my soul at "Avengers: Infinity War"
As you have probably gathered, if I like something or someone, I reaaaaaaaally like the fuck out of it/them, and more likely than not, to an embarrassing level. Prime example: traveling to Austin, TX in August 2000 to see Russell Crowe and his band. And I have no doubt I will do other borderline mortifying things in the future in order to scratch various itches (I’m just going to start the apology tour now for anything you may read from me regarding Oscar Isaac for the next, oh, three or four years because when I’m in? I’m in for a long time). I am, of course, 100 percent on board with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I would never describe myself as an expert on any level regarding the comic book origins, but I will do my due diligence so I can understand the source material. I knew the general jist of where “Avengers: Infinity War” was coming from re: Thanos and his whole schtick. What I was not expecting was watching my movie friends (stay with me) FUCKING DISINTEGRATING INTO ASH FOR A GOOD FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT. I had not planned on my festive moviegoing experience DESTROYING MY SOUL. I mean, the only way I could possibly assuage my damaged well-being was to pay good money to briefly touch Chris Evans this past October and have it photographed. 


I Called Captain America “Honey” – and it was spectacular.

I Cooked Sometimes – and I usually took photos of it. 
Stuffin'. Or dressing. Whatever.


Went To Vegas in the Summer, Enjoyed a Cabana – I ate at Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen and holy mother of fuck, the sticky toffee pudding is legit insane. I cocktailed thoroughly. I lost my ass gambling. Went swimmin’ (well, floated around since I don’t know how to swim) in a pool. All the hallmarks of a quality trip.


The Tooth and Nothing But – I had a tooth decide to get enraged with me and had my first root canal. The two-month long saga of repairing it has finally come to an end as I now have my permanent crown. A crown that my insurance won’t pay for because it is garbage insurance. America!

Uhhhh What Else What Else – I saw some movies, like “BlackKKlansman” (which was very good!), “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” (also very good!), “The Favourite” (oh shit this was good!), “Black Panther” (seriously so good!) and “Annihilation” (it was fascinating/weird/good and provided me with one of the best 2018 exchanges with my belov’d spouse:

Spouse (as Oscar Isaac’s character coughs up blood): Is he still sexy vomiting blood?

Me: Yes. Yes, he is.

I also watched some television that I enjoyed a bunch, like “The Good Place”, “Big Mouth”, “Bojack Horseman”, “Better Call Saul”, and “Brooklyn 99”. “The X-Files” swung through for another season and I dug it, but you know it’s my ride-or-die show. “The Venture Brothers” came back for an all-too-brief season on Adult Swim and my gosh, this show. Not only is it a fucking treasure trove of comedy with many references directed squarely at those of us of Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer’s generation (that would be me), but it’s also a show that is deeply invested in its characters and, in turn, makes the viewer give a serious damn – and it’s a cartoon. I just love it to bits. And even though he may now be consigned to the ex-Imaginary Celebrity Boyfriend pile, Benedict Cumberbatch killed it in Showtime’s “Patrick Melrose”. (I wish him all the best in his future endeavors.) 


And then there was Gritty.

GRITTY WILL GET US THROUGH

Weeping Publicly While Seated – I capped off the year with a 36-hour visitation to Las Vegas so I could have my not-frequent-enough public weeping/anger purge at Nine Inch Nails. It was the first show of theirs that I literally sat through, which was kind of odd (but made sense since I was in the balcony), but I still managed to have a fine release of stress and anger and sadness like I always do at a NIN show.

I Wrote a Lot (said to the tune of “We Care a Lot” by Faith No More) – it’s stuff that you haven’t seen yet and maybe never will, but this year was the most prolific I’ve been since the very early 2000s. I’ve created a bit of a romcom-ish universe of my own and it’s very fun (for me) to conjure up these little stories (and by “little” I mean 130-150 page screenplays – I get…wordy) and it keeps me off the ledge, off the street, and mentally functioning better because I’m able to direct some of the hot nonsense that likes to kick my ass around into a more productive, um, thing.

What’s On Deck for 2019: I can tell you I’ll be back in Vegas with m’lud in February for our standard birthday/wedding anniversary trip. We’ll be seeing Thomas Middleditch and Ben Schwartz be amusing at the Chicago Theater in April. That same month, we’ll be swanning through McCormick Place to see just how nerdbirdy it gets at Star Wars Celebration. That much I know for sure.


I hope my brain continues to cooperate with my medication as we have had a reasonable détente for the last year and a bit. I hope I can figure out a way to be fulfilled and successful at something that I actually like doing. I hope I can stop being quite so haunted by my age and my failures. I hope I can take the voluminous, bordering on sentient anger I have and make it work positively in some fashion. I hope I can be happy.