I've been a funk these last few days. I've been spending a bit of time doing some inward thinking (as opposed to inward singing /tenacious d) and wallowing a bit in said thoughts and concerns. Not so much about me, per se, but about the world I inhabit and all the things I wish I could fix or make better and dispel some of the white-hot anger I feel about a litany of items.
It's insipid as hell, but I wish everyone could be happy.
Well, I warned you it was insipid.
Let me try and spin it a different way. I've lived an interesting life thus far. It has been complicated and difficult at times, but I've met so many interesting people and been to interesting places, seen amazing, hilarious, astounding things. So little of that would have happened if I'd been afraid of or hated people that were gay or non-white or non-Midwesterners or the unreligious (or religious, for that matter). I am in love with the world. And I wish everyone could be in love with it and all its strangeness and differences and cultures and realize that so much of the terror that we're programmed to feel about things that are "different" is bunk. It's fucking bunk. The adventure that life is supposed to be is replaced with "I don't need to go any further than my backyard". It's supposed to be fun, isn't it?
I don't like yelling. I never have. I think growing up in fear of being yelled at by my dad has made raised voices one of those things that upsets me the most. I hate feeling my stomach tighten and my ears burn and staring so hard at whatever's in front of my eyes so I don't cry and I don't draw the wrath of whoever happens to be yelling. I'm not so insipid that I want a world where everyone holds hands and fuckin' sings "We Are the World" or whatever, because that would make me gag so hard I couldn't even tell you. I don't even desire everyone to *like* each other. But goddamn, I want the yelling to stop. Stop for a while. Just some blessed silence so my shredded soul can get a leg up on fixing itself a bit.
